Ring! Ring!

Quickly swallowing a bite of breakfast,

Me: IT Department. This is Daniel.  How can I help you? 

Caller: Do you fix laptops? 

Me: Yes I do.  Is your laptop broken or just not working right? 

Caller: It’s working fine.  I just need some stuff removed from it.  You know?  Before my wife finds it. 

Me: Ahhh.  Yes. I understand.   

Caller: I bet you get calls like this, a lot. 

Me: No. I really don’t.  What is the timeline? 

Caller: Huh?  What does that mean? 

Me: When do you expect your wife to be inspecting your laptop? 

Caller: Today. 

Me: OK. I’m in a meeting until 10, this morning. I can meet you at the donut shop on the southwest corner of 96th and Allisonville by 10:15? 

Caller: Great!  Thanks, man.  You are saving my life! 

Me: It’s just a gig for me, sir. 

Caller: Yeah, but still … it’s nice to know there are people out whom I can call on to help me out of a tight spot. 

Me:  If you don’t mind my asking, who referred you to me? 

Caller: Ronnie did.  

Me: OK. Thanks.  I’m not sure I know ‘Ronnie.’ 

Caller: Oh.  <CLICK!> 

Three hours later….

Ring! Ring!

Me: IT Department, this is Daniel.  How can I help you, this afternoon? 

Caller: Hello. I’m Roger ***** with *****, ******** & *********.  I’m investigating calls made by a client’s husband as part of a divorce.  Your number came up as a recently called number by my client’s husband.  Would you mind telling me what your conversation was about? 

Me: I’ve had two phone calls, this morning who did not identify themselves. So I’m not sure I can help you. 

Roger: Can you verify the phone number that called you?  That would allow me to verify it was my client. 

Me: Your client or your client’s spouse? 

Roger: Right, my client’s spouse. 

Me: Tell you what, Roger.  I’m not wanting to be involved in the domestic squabbles of others.  I provide IT services to small businesses, like law firms.   If you would like to discuss my services for your business, I would be happy to continue.  Otherwise, I need to get back to work for my own clients. 

Roger: LISTEN YOU SON OF A BITCH!  I WANT TO KNOW IF MY BROTHER IN LAW IS CHEATING ON MY SISTER! 

Me: I don’t know either of them, ‘Roger’, so how can I know anything?  Oh, and good bye.  Have a good day. 

<CLICK> 

Lesson Learned

When people try to draw you into their family drama, engage those spidey senses. If something seems off, it likely is. Make sure you CYA (cover your ass) and verify key data so you don’t inevitably give out personally identifiable information. The best thing to do is just say no and stay out of it.